Is the Desire for Death a Positive or Negative Feeling and Wish?
Do you think death is scary? Are you among those who dread death and constantly try to avoid it, or are you a member of the group that speaks of death with a sense of well-being and does not feel negatively about it? What exactly is the fear of death? Why do some people desire death while others fear it?
The root of this difference lies in how people perceive death, as well as the degree of the soundness of their hearts. Imagine, your neighbor entrusted you an expensive plate to take care of, but for some reason, it became contaminated, or it fell and broke. In such a condition, would you be willing to return it to them? Most likely out of shame or regret, you would avoid facing them and returning the plate. This is the reason why most of us fear death. In our discussion on the Soul Child, we stated that the most important trust in our life is the Spirit of God, the very spirit that God entrusted to us during our creation, which is referred to as the soul or heart. We are merely the trustees of this great trust, and our duty during our lifetime in this world is to purify our hearts from tainted beliefs as well as moral impurities and diseases. Furthermore, we must strive to make our hearts similar to God and return this trust to its owner safe and sound.
A Trust Called the Heart!
A person who has become like God and achieved compatibility with Him is delighted and joyful with the trust they hold, eagerly longing to return to His embrace. The desire for death wells up in them, so that they can return the trust to God with pride and honor through faithful guardianship. Throughout their life, such a person seeks to train their soul and bring the lower aspects of their being into balance, ultimately achieving intimacy and connection with God, the beloved of their human dimension. Their heart is united with God; they long to take this sweet relationship out of the narrowness of this world and unite with God in an infinitely vast realm, to live with Him and find peace. This person is called a believer (Mumin) and their faith is the result of the inner peace that is created in them from belief in the hereafter and eternity. They believe that eternity exists, that there is a reckoning, and for this reason they organize their choices, relationships, and thoughts, and thus, they are at peace. The believer always tries not to be involved in the lower parts of their being and not to be preoccupied with the repeated and various desires of the beloveds of these parts. They constantly remind themselves of their eternity, so they do not get involved in limited sorrows and anxieties. The lacks and shortcomings of their life do not delay them. They navigate through challenges effortlessly, and both small and large problems not only fail to obstruct their healthy move toward the hereafter, but also serve as a launching pad and growth opportunity for the development of their soul.
The desire for death arises in a heart that is already tranquil, certain of its inner heaven, and confident that no soul-sickness remains to construct a hell for them. This situation causes them, like iron filings drawn to a magnet, to have a strong desire to be born into Barzakh and unite with their Beloved. The desire for death is a sign of the correct trustworthiness of the greatest trust in life and the desire to return this trust to its owner, God.
One of the most important fruits of preparation for death is happiness and peace in the human heart. Preparation for death is the effective motivation that stimulates a person to treat heart diseases. It also removes all suffering and heart cramps and prepares us for a healthy birth into Barzakh.
Reading these descriptions, you may ask, how can this readiness and desire for death be created? The strange answer is that we must kill ourselves in order to achieve a healthy and sound heart. Do not misunderstand; by killing ourselves we mean killing our false self. We cannot taste the sweetness and desire for death until we experience numerous and continuous deaths in the world. But what kind of death? How? Is it even possible to kill ourselves? What does death really mean? Stay with us to find out the answers to these questions.
The Best Way to Take Care of a Trust Called the Heart
It may seem strange or even ridiculous if we tell someone to kill the child that is entrusted to you. This is because we stated that we are not allowed to violate trusts. It is absolutely true; this rule applies to all trusts, except for life’s greatest trust, our heart. You may ask, is it possible to help someone by killing them? The answer to this question depends on how we understand the concept of death. Not all deaths mean the end, but many lives arise from deaths. The greatest example of this is the death of the material part of our existence.
Death here is different from the image that is always imprinted in our minds. In the discussion related to taking care of the heart to achieve a sound heart and purifying the soul, death means opposing the desires and orders, both significant and minor, that constantly arise from the lower parts of our being. It might be interesting to know that in order to purify our hearts we must confront with our material nature and shield ourselves against the endless and repeated desires of the beloveds of the lower parts of our being, teaching them how to hear the word ‘No.’ Any negative response to their requests is perceived as a form of death for them. The exciting thing is that an individual’s strength, growth, and vitality depends on the number of deaths they endure along the way. Of course, after each initial conflict and opposition to these desires and commands, we are bothered and pressured. However, if we are patient and persistent in this practice, and ignore the clamor of the ego and its beloveds, we will gain peace and joy after each death we create.
Purifying the heart from impurities or even excessive beloveds is difficult and time-consuming. We must know that the beloveds of the four lower parts of our being and even the various faculties of our soul, such as sense perception, imagination, estimation, and intellect, do not sit idle, until the beloved of our human part, God, takes their place in our heart. It is natural for them to cry out, cling to everything, create fear and anxiety, and drag their rescuer down with them, much like someone who is drowning. However, if we are brave enough in practicing these kinds of deaths, nothing will bother us anymore. As a result, we will live very happily and peacefully. If we seek a sound heart and wish to return this trust to its owner safe and sound, we must patiently welcome these deaths, endure them, and even love them. This is because these small, large, and everyday deaths are the same strong and effective antibiotics that go after the infections and pathogenic microbes in our hearts and kill them one by one.
For example, our eyes are like a hungry and insatiable creature that desires everything it sees. The problem is that no matter how much we feed it, it is not satisfied and becomes more and more greedy. For example, the more inappropriate or toxic images it sees, the thirstier it becomes and the more it demands. Similarly, the more it sees beautiful items in storefronts and shops, the greater the greed it generates, filling our heart with more cravings. The eyes should be trained in such a way that they do not ground us with lower beloveds, do not strengthen sexual desire for the opposite gender within us. Also, by constantly looking at the faces and bodies of others, they should not instill so much desire for beauty and attracting people’s attention in our hearts that all our thoughts, preoccupations, and time become consumed by these kinds of concerns
The Desire for Death Resulting from Gradual Death
The desire for death, which is actually birth into Barzakh and then eternal life is tasted by those who have experienced and repeatedly felt the pain of death slowly throughout their lives, just like a person who goes to the gym with significant weight to lose, enduring the challenges of a strict diet and intense exercise. This person has long resisted every craving for sweets, fatty foods, unhealthy snacks, and even healthy foods that exceed their allowed calorie intake. They have suffered greatly in their exercise routine, but they know that the result of this resistance, opposition, and persistence is an indescribable feeling of satisfaction, happiness, and health. They experience a death every time they say “no” to every whim, and after a long time, the sum of these small deaths determines their ultimate success and health. The story of the human and soundness of their hearts is the same. Until a person can eagerly bring about the ‘death’ of what is seen, heard, consumed, thought, fantasized, and imagined, they will not attain a sound heart. The desire for death is a sign of a person who has reached a sound heart and is eagerly waiting to see the Beloved who has been keeping, caring for, and nurturing their trust for years, like a child who has endured the pains of growing up and has now reached the tranquility and maturity of adulthood. They too have endured the pain of small deaths in their soul for years, and no longer feel the pain or fear of death because there is no longer any disease or troublesome impurity in their heart that would prevent their union with their true partner, God.