The Formation of Our Love Hierarchy Depends on Our Desires and Priorities

Have you ever thought about how the priorities of each of us in life are different from each other? These differences exist between the members of a society or even a family, and although we live in the same environment, we have different concerns and values. One pursues wealth and boasts about his luxurious house and expensive car, the other wants to have an attractive body and be admired for his beauty. One person seeks status and prestige, taking pride in his educational achievements, while another is so immersed in his pursuit of knowledge that he is unaware of what is happening around him. Among these individuals, a few truly prioritize the pursuit of the beloved of the human part of their being and strive for it.

If we pay close attention, we can see that our choices and lifestyle determine to which of our faculties we have given control of our existence. That is because each of us, whether consciously or unconsciously, seeks to attain perfections that are valuable to us. But we are unaware that we love whatever we consider a perfection, and if something becomes our favorite, it draws our desire towards itself and affects our thoughts, behaviors, choices, and relationships.

The hierarchy of love determines which sensate, imaginal, intellective, or supra-rational qualities we prioritize. In fact, our hierarchy of love is the amount of priority and attention we give to different faculties of our existence, and we shape our personality accordingly. We are going to address the factors that influence the formation of our love hierarchy, the factors that affect the arrangement of these priorities, and why we fundamentally need a healthy hierarchy of love.

The Factors Influencing the Formation of Our Love Hierarchy

The formation of our love hierarchy depends on how we define ourselves and the answer to the question of whether we see ourselves as humans with human needs and qualities, or if our lives revolve around actualizing animal, vegetative, or even inanimate potentials.

The formation of our love hierarchy is influenced by what we have defined and determined for ourselves, or rather, how we have defined our ‘self.’ Do we define ourselves as a doctor or engineer, a mother, an Olympic medalist, a wealthy or poor person, or as a human being separate from all these titles?

When we have a proper definition of ourselves, we act more carefully in choosing what potential to actualize and determining our priorities. As a result, we know to which faculty we have given more value in different situations, or of which needs we have been ignorant.

Of course, all this happens when we know ourselves and are familiar with the mathematical structure of the soul, in other words, when we know the different faculties of our existence and their beloveds. What is the ultimate perfection of each faculty, and how important are these perfections? If we are unaware of our existential structure and the status of the perfections of the different dimensions of our existence, we cannot spend enough time on them and will face difficulty adjusting our tendencies.

Another factor that influences the formation of our love hierarchy is the lifestyle, habits, and behaviors that we have gotten used to. Whenever we give priority to one dimension or faculty of existence, we give it more importance and minimize the importance of other dimensions because we allocate more time to it and spend no time dealing with other dimensions and actualizing their potentials.

For example, if we excessively focus on acquiring intellective perfections, we unconsciously limit inanimate, vegetative, or animal perfections. We have seen numerous examples of this in the lives of scientists who spend long hours of their lifetime in the laboratory and do not have the time to get married, have children, and pay attention to their appearance, or even their comfort and convenience. These individuals have gone beyond their animal levels, but still fail to attain a state of balance in their soul. They become unaware of other aspects due to excessive focus on one aspect of their existence.

In this regard, our relationship with our hierarchy of love is a mutual one because we adjust our tendencies and our hierarchy of love based on our viewpoint about ourselves. On the other hand, the actions and behaviors that result from the way we organize our hierarchy of love make these perfections more important because we are constantly repeating and reinforcing them.

For instance, when we become engrossed in the superficial aspects of life based on our viewpoint, we actually organize our hierarchy of love in a way that prioritizes our inanimate perfections. On the other hand, our excessive attention to inanimate perfections and our attachment to wealth, fortune, and luxuries increase our interest in inanimate perfections and our hierarchy of love is reinforced in that direction.

The Importance of Having a Healthy Love Hierarchy

After understanding the hierarchy of love and the factors influencing the formation of our love hierarchy, it may be worth mentioning the importance of having a healthy hierarchy of love. In the simplest terms, our hierarchy of love affects our choices, relationships, behaviors, and thought patterns. As we discussed in previous lessons, all our choices, relationships, behaviors, and thoughts together shape our lifestyle. In addition to this, our tendencies, attachments, and the beloveds we choose indirectly indicate whether we desire this temporary world or the infinite realm ahead of us. In fact, the answer to this question can serve as a measure of our rationality. But most importantly, whatever takes first priority in our hierarchy of love draws our heart towards itself. Now the question is: Do any perfection and beloved deserve to hold a special place in our hearts, and does paying attention to anything result in lasting peace and happiness?

In this lesson, we defined the human hierarchy of love. We stated that the priority and time we allocate to each part of our existence eventually lead to the formation of our love hierarchy. This hierarchy is the result of our viewpoint about ourselves and the way we define ourselves. It, in turn, influences our ideals, concerns, motivations, choices, and relationships. In the end, we also referred to the importance of having a healthy hierarchy of love.

Have you ever thought about the importance and role of the hierarchy of love you have chosen for yourself? If you want to know the characteristics of a healthy hierarchy of love, we invite you to read the next article.