Why Do We Need a Role Model, and How Can We Choose the Best Role Model for Our Lives?
Have you ever felt the need for a role model in your life? Do you think having a good role model in your profession or favorite job will have any impact on your life? If you had to choose right now, who would you choose as your role model? Do you think you can choose someone as a role model for all aspects of your life? What qualities should such a person have? In your opinion, what qualities should the best role model have?
We all feel the need for role models at different stages of life, especially when we have great desires which seem to be out of reach, or when obstacles make us feel like we cannot overcome them. In such times, our mind unconsciously seeks the best role model who has fulfilled similar desires or overcome similar obstacles in his life. Then we feel reassured that if someone else has been able to achieve such dreams or overcome such obstacles, then surely we can too. Of course, this kind of emulation is usually short-term and limited to a specific situation and cannot be applied to all aspects of life. For example, we only follow the example of our sports coach or art teacher in a specific artistic or sports field, and we never consider them as the best role models for going through all stages of life.
All people, due to their desire for perfection, tend to like and create an image of a perfect human being with good spiritual and ethical qualities, even if they cannot find him in the real world. This tendency emerges in the early years of life and makes a child model himself on his parents, who are considered the first heroes of his life. In the small world of the child, parents appear as the best role models and the most complete human beings on earth, powerful and fearless, never making mistakes. But this emulation is temporary. As the child grows and reaches adolescence, his world expands and he is no longer satisfied with parents as his role models. A teenager is idealist and wants to be an important and different person. Therefore, he chooses role models that are unattainable and differ from the norm, so he can imagine them in his mind as he wishes. Movie stars, famous singers, sports champions, scientists, or extremely wealthy individuals are the best role model according to the standards of an adolescent, who has not yet discovered his true identity. But modelling oneself on these individuals is also limited and temporary! When new stars emerge in the world of art and sports, or when the private lives of these individuals are uncovered and their flaws are exposed, these role models lose their appeal and greatness in the eyes of the teenager, leaving him disappointed and disillusioned with his choice.
The process of choosing the best role model continues for years, and during the periods of uncertainty and setbacks, most people ultimately conclude that there is no perfect human being to model themselves on in every aspect and to go through the path of growth and development with less effort and trouble. Thus, they find it easier to give up the futile effort to find a role model and live their lives through trial and error. How accurate is this way of thinking? Does the fact that we cannot find the best role model for our lives mean that such individuals do not exist?
Most of the time, when we seek the best role model, we focus on the dimension of our existence that we identify with. For example, we may look for someone to teach us how to become wealthy, but most wealthy people have failed in their emotional lives. Or, we may look for someone to teach us how to gain knowledge and become a scientist, but we see scientists who are not good at making money. This one-dimensional and flawed personality of successful people in different fields leads us to the conclusion that it is impossible to find a role model who can help us grow, mature, and succeed in all dimensions of our existence.
In other words, we humans are multidimensional beings, and to achieve lasting happiness and peace, we need to achieve success in all our dimensions. Otherwise, success in one aspect cannot give us a sense of happiness and peace. Therefore, the best role model for us is someone who has achieved success in the all faculties of his soul. However, since we do not know how to find such a person, it is impossible for us to find the best role model.
As we stated before, we can only achieve balance and peace if we choose the true commander of our existence correctly. As humans, we must choose the human dimension of our existence as the commander of our soul. In this case, we need to look for a role model who can help and guide us in the supra-rational dimension, so that other dimensions of our existence can also grow and mature properly under the rule of our human dimension. But does the fact that we cannot recognize the best role model for the growth of our human dimension mean that such individuals do not really exist? Could it be possible that God, who created the whole universe only for the sake of humans, did not think about our need for a perfect and flawless role model?
Does a Perfect and Flawless Role Model Exist?
God has never asked us to live through trial and error. This is because committing any mistake slows down our journey towards Him or takes us several stages away from Him, and God never likes such a thing. He wants us to move rapidly on the path of achieving the purpose of our creation, which is to become like Him, acquire His attributes, and be forerunners in this regard. He also knows that to become like Him, we must first fully know Him and become acquainted with His attributes. Therefore, He must reveal His most complete and flawless manifestation in a being of our own kind, and create role models who, while being human, are the perfect manifestation of the divine names and attributes. These role models, as mentioned earlier, are the infallible Imams (PBUT). Therefore, the perfect person with all the good qualities and ethical and human perfections has an external manifestation and we do not need to work hard to find such a role model, imagine him in our minds, or look for him in movies. The only thing we need to do is to believe in ourselves as human beings and then move along the path of becoming like these role models to become a true human being.
We stated that our journey from the world to the realm of Malakut (Celestial Kingdom) is not a physical and material one, but rather a “becoming.” As a fetus in the womb constantly changes on its journey to the world and takes on a new form every moment until he is complete and born, our soul is also constantly becoming in the world, and with every good or bad deed, it takes on a new state until its final state is formed and it is born into the realm of Malakut. Naturally, not every becoming or motion is appropriate for achieving this goal. A motion is useful when it prepares our soul for a healthy and trouble-free life, and this only happens by obeying the infallible expert as the most complete and best role model. All the rules, formulas, and mathematics of creation are in the hands of the infallible expert, and he is the one who determines how we must act in different situations in life to be in harmony with our ultimate goal. If our lifestyle is not compatible with the infallible person’s instructions, we may grow in material and worldly qualities, for example, we may become a prominent philosopher, a leading scientist, a successful artist, or a very wealthy person, but we will definitely not become a worthy human being, and we will not acquire the “sound heart,” which is our greatest asset.
In the next lessons, we will talk about the sound heart and the serious consequences of not acquiring it in our lives.